(1)
Been here for approximately a month and 19 days.
So it has been a really good experience, whereas I really have to adapt into a completely different environment.
I have to walk about 1 kilometre, so that I fulfil my obligations. I could pray anywhere but here, it is too much people everywhere
And plus I really want to avoid any troubles.
For food, I am becoming a half vegan. I avoided eating any meats if I have to eat in a common restaurant.
It is so hard to find a halal restaurant downtown.
As a full time hijabist, sometimes I drew some unwanted attention. Maybe because the way I wear it.
Some of them had mistaken me as a Xinjiang people. The Xinjiangs are so much beautiful compared to me, a mere plain Jane.
But it is sad to know that their government oppressed them from practising the religion. I wish Malaysia could be a safe haven for them, to enjoy the beauty of Islam.
What else I could share?
It is Autumn now and sometimes it is totally cold. Please pray that I could bear the weather.
What I trying to improve right now is literally educate my guy friend to avoid touching me. I am glad that my girl friends could explain to the guys in their respective native languages
Please pray for me, I could be a better Muslim despite all these challenges. That’s all I think.
Assalamualaikum
(2)
Sometimes, I find myself sympathising over my friends because they had to adjust their desire to eat according to my preferences and they always insisted that it was okay.
A friend who used to eat with me, told me that the food did not fancy her anymore. I was smiling though, and tell her go and eat somewhere else, I would not mind. She never eat with me again after that. I was telling myself, “ Be glad you have a choice, I don’t”. I am not whining, but sometimes I really wished I could go back to Malaysia.
I want to go back to the way I could eat perfectly anything, since I was a very enthusiastic eater.
I want to go back to the way I would not feel the guilt having to qada’ my prayer because I can practically pray anywhere decent.
I want to go back to the way where I can learn and work independently, and not touching ajnabi was respected by all, regardless religion.
I want to have control in my life, to not living out of fear for things I had lost.
I want to be able to feel protected, for now I’m fighting with my life trying to protect myself.
It may sounds exaggerating , but this is what I feel right now. Crying my heart out while writing this.
I have been holding up pretty well this past two months, reminding myself not to cry as no one could pick me back up from my shattered self.
(3)
Well it is 4 am now, but I could not lure myself into sleeping. Hahaha
Before, I was crying while writing, but today let’s just say I am smiling. Here something you should know, I live my life by tiptoeing on the little things happen every day. Meeting the children every fortnight, caught the moon smiling to me, being able to look good on the first try, being able to see the hunter constellation on a hazy night, playing Bole Chudiya on our midnight stroll etc etc..
You know, it’s a little bit hard living in this world nowadays, but I remembered what Ustaz Hamdi said, “As long as they (he meant us) live, they will not rest until they achieved jannah whereas they can be eternally enjoy the relaxing moment”. Enjoying our time in Jannatul Adn’ , drink from Salsabila water and being able to see Allah after our endless struggles in Dunya’.
I cannot say I am fully adapted, but slowly I am enjoying the beauty China could offer. I will always miss Malaysia. Allah put us where we are now for a reason and In shaa allah I am slowly seeing the purpose. I constantly reminds myself, you have a belief and never gambles it.
I like who I am now, but I want to be better. I want to be the change I want to see in this world. Help me would you? Becomes my comrade in this journey, let this world heals.
(4)
Assalamualaikum w.b.t
I haven’t write for a while now, there always something to tell but been busy remembering all this Chinese characters. Yeah, it is kind of a pathetic reason but if you have a chance to learn Chinese , take a shot. You might enjoy it!
As you can see from above are posts that should be in my blog by now, and since China blocks it so it take a while though. If you are reading from the beginning you can see the changes I had .
Being in China is one in a million experience, that I can say. This past 6 months, it has been a roller coaster ride filled with a lot of emotions.
Happy, when I finally met my fellow country mates and it is truly a mixture of us all, Malay , Chinese and Indian. Those tiny differences really taught me a lot and also make me love Malaysia even more. You know that feeling when you know about just a simple details but you never come from that specific races and then you will be like, “Dude, I’m from Malaysia, we practically celebrate everything,” by everything, you know what I mean. Eidul Fitr, Eidul Adha , Chinese New Year, Wesak, Thaipusam, Deepavali, Christmas just to name a few.
Sad, when I know what the Xinjiangs been through here. There were girls who had to take off their hijab so that they would not be kicked out. They were afraid to pray although they were with me and not under surveillance of the government.
Worry, or anxious I think. I will be studying my degree, using Chinese as a medium. There were a lot of time that I wanted to back off when I see how my roommate struggles but yet, I deeply thank those people who pulled me up regardless how many time I freaked up.
If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are one of the people who give me the strength to bear all I had here. I know those who are reading this are the one who knows my dream that I had talked about since high school, practically know me for who I am, how I act , how I speak.
To tell you the truth, I miss you guys. Let’s meet up when I’m back, okay? And please know if you are the one feeling down these days, you had given me so much that I can still be here. I’m here not just because of myself, but I carry all of you in my tiny little heart. Hit me up if there’s something you want to tell me. I would love to hear it from you guys. Write me a letter, you know I am an old-fashioned lady .
Been here for approximately a month and 19 days.
So it has been a really good experience, whereas I really have to adapt into a completely different environment.
I have to walk about 1 kilometre, so that I fulfil my obligations. I could pray anywhere but here, it is too much people everywhere
And plus I really want to avoid any troubles.
For food, I am becoming a half vegan. I avoided eating any meats if I have to eat in a common restaurant.
It is so hard to find a halal restaurant downtown.
As a full time hijabist, sometimes I drew some unwanted attention. Maybe because the way I wear it.
Some of them had mistaken me as a Xinjiang people. The Xinjiangs are so much beautiful compared to me, a mere plain Jane.
But it is sad to know that their government oppressed them from practising the religion. I wish Malaysia could be a safe haven for them, to enjoy the beauty of Islam.
What else I could share?
It is Autumn now and sometimes it is totally cold. Please pray that I could bear the weather.
What I trying to improve right now is literally educate my guy friend to avoid touching me. I am glad that my girl friends could explain to the guys in their respective native languages
Please pray for me, I could be a better Muslim despite all these challenges. That’s all I think.
Assalamualaikum
(2)
Sometimes, I find myself sympathising over my friends because they had to adjust their desire to eat according to my preferences and they always insisted that it was okay.
A friend who used to eat with me, told me that the food did not fancy her anymore. I was smiling though, and tell her go and eat somewhere else, I would not mind. She never eat with me again after that. I was telling myself, “ Be glad you have a choice, I don’t”. I am not whining, but sometimes I really wished I could go back to Malaysia.
I want to go back to the way I could eat perfectly anything, since I was a very enthusiastic eater.
I want to go back to the way I would not feel the guilt having to qada’ my prayer because I can practically pray anywhere decent.
I want to go back to the way where I can learn and work independently, and not touching ajnabi was respected by all, regardless religion.
I want to have control in my life, to not living out of fear for things I had lost.
I want to be able to feel protected, for now I’m fighting with my life trying to protect myself.
It may sounds exaggerating , but this is what I feel right now. Crying my heart out while writing this.
I have been holding up pretty well this past two months, reminding myself not to cry as no one could pick me back up from my shattered self.
(3)
Well it is 4 am now, but I could not lure myself into sleeping. Hahaha
Before, I was crying while writing, but today let’s just say I am smiling. Here something you should know, I live my life by tiptoeing on the little things happen every day. Meeting the children every fortnight, caught the moon smiling to me, being able to look good on the first try, being able to see the hunter constellation on a hazy night, playing Bole Chudiya on our midnight stroll etc etc..
You know, it’s a little bit hard living in this world nowadays, but I remembered what Ustaz Hamdi said, “As long as they (he meant us) live, they will not rest until they achieved jannah whereas they can be eternally enjoy the relaxing moment”. Enjoying our time in Jannatul Adn’ , drink from Salsabila water and being able to see Allah after our endless struggles in Dunya’.
I cannot say I am fully adapted, but slowly I am enjoying the beauty China could offer. I will always miss Malaysia. Allah put us where we are now for a reason and In shaa allah I am slowly seeing the purpose. I constantly reminds myself, you have a belief and never gambles it.
I like who I am now, but I want to be better. I want to be the change I want to see in this world. Help me would you? Becomes my comrade in this journey, let this world heals.
(4)
Assalamualaikum w.b.t
I haven’t write for a while now, there always something to tell but been busy remembering all this Chinese characters. Yeah, it is kind of a pathetic reason but if you have a chance to learn Chinese , take a shot. You might enjoy it!
As you can see from above are posts that should be in my blog by now, and since China blocks it so it take a while though. If you are reading from the beginning you can see the changes I had .
Being in China is one in a million experience, that I can say. This past 6 months, it has been a roller coaster ride filled with a lot of emotions.
Happy, when I finally met my fellow country mates and it is truly a mixture of us all, Malay , Chinese and Indian. Those tiny differences really taught me a lot and also make me love Malaysia even more. You know that feeling when you know about just a simple details but you never come from that specific races and then you will be like, “Dude, I’m from Malaysia, we practically celebrate everything,” by everything, you know what I mean. Eidul Fitr, Eidul Adha , Chinese New Year, Wesak, Thaipusam, Deepavali, Christmas just to name a few.
Sad, when I know what the Xinjiangs been through here. There were girls who had to take off their hijab so that they would not be kicked out. They were afraid to pray although they were with me and not under surveillance of the government.
Worry, or anxious I think. I will be studying my degree, using Chinese as a medium. There were a lot of time that I wanted to back off when I see how my roommate struggles but yet, I deeply thank those people who pulled me up regardless how many time I freaked up.
If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are one of the people who give me the strength to bear all I had here. I know those who are reading this are the one who knows my dream that I had talked about since high school, practically know me for who I am, how I act , how I speak.
To tell you the truth, I miss you guys. Let’s meet up when I’m back, okay? And please know if you are the one feeling down these days, you had given me so much that I can still be here. I’m here not just because of myself, but I carry all of you in my tiny little heart. Hit me up if there’s something you want to tell me. I would love to hear it from you guys. Write me a letter, you know I am an old-fashioned lady .
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteKnur its me syuhada. Seriously,you're still the strong aqilah i'd known . and yet now, even much more stronger than before. As a foreigner plus a muslim, up until now you've pulled yourself as good enough as you can. Keep it up. If there's one word i could convey to you right now is 'stay'. Stay, as strong as you could. Stay, as purifying your heart every now and then with iman. Stay, and heads up for the future above you. Stay, having hopes and cry in your doa remembering HIM. Stay, on the right path, enduring the obtacles and fears, even when none of your comrades there, stay. 😢 i hope i can share with you my strength and atleast calm your with easeness. But we're physically miles apart. But still, you are never alone. Those who adores you, their heart and hopes are always there for you. When it's too hard, reach out for us. Whenever 😊 till then. I'll be awaiting to read more of your post from now on
ReplyDeleteAssalamualaikum. Akak study dekat u mana before degree tu? Btw, thankyou for this inspiring entry ♥
ReplyDeleteAssalamualaikum. Akak study dekat u mana before degree tu? Btw, thankyou for this inspiring entry ♥
ReplyDeleteWaalaikumussalam, sorry lambat reply. Akak mmg terus ke China ni.. buat one year language program pastu 4 year degree
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